


Most Definitely a Madwoman With a Box

by radiowrittenheart



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero
Genre: Because I DO WHAT I WANT, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Multiverse, Oneshot, Rescue, Role Reversal, could be platonic or romantic, i've been waiting to do this AU since forever, not exactly a crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-30
Updated: 2015-09-30
Packaged: 2018-04-23 23:39:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4896697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radiowrittenheart/pseuds/radiowrittenheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Penn and Sashi are the ones to accidentally take the wrong platforms; she’s the hero, and he’s the sidekick. But the world they’re trapped in is rather peculiar - more than usual, anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Most Definitely a Madwoman With a Box

**Author's Note:**

> If you're familiar with the fandom full of heartbreak and aliens, then imagine Sashi as a Nine and Twelve fusion. Mostly Twelve. But with a hint of Ten in there too. Penn, on the other hand, is his irreplaceable self.
> 
> But yes, seeing how I headcanon Phyllis as a Time Lord, it was only a matter of time before I wrote this.
> 
> Enjoy!

It was one simple mistake. One little thing. They didn’t think anything of it, they had no reason to. They had been mad at each other- God, she couldn’t even remember why. But they had stepped onto the wrong platforms. Their roles were switched.

Sashi was absolutely distressed; her specs didn’t display a mission.

But she knew this much; she was the hero and Penn was the distressed sidekick, caught in the trap of the enemy. She had no idea what Rippen was up to, but judging from a peek outside the door, he had joined a gang of alien robots. She hadn’t bothered to learn the names of them; she just knew that they were meant to kill and destroy, hence their “EXTERMINATE” mantra.

One thing was for sure; this was the first time Sashi felt helpless.

She was in a world that was completely unfamiliar, and she was playing a part she knew very little lines of.

“Uh, Earth to Sashi?”

Boone’s voice was all she had. He wasn’t even a being in this world. It just kept getting better.

“I’m fine,” she mumbled, reaching under her glasses to rub her eyes in frustration. “I- I just need to-”

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed her reflection in a curved mirror on the side of her teleportation device, it was something that began with a T, according to Boone. Seemed like an acronym of sorts.

That didn’t matter. What mattered was how ridiculous she looked.

“What is this?” Sashi practically sneered as she stared at her distorted reflection. Clearly, she didn’t approve of her look in this multiverse. “A bowtie? You’ve got to be kidding me. And what’s with the jacket? Ugh- _and my hair_ -”

Boone laughed from up above, and she scowled at him. “Since when do you care about appearance?” he teased.

Sashi shrugged. “If I’m going to save the world,” she mused, untying her hair from the bun. “Might as well do it in style - and comfort.” She threw off the jacket, and loosened the bowtie, letting her white button-down shirt come unfurled from it’s place tucked into her slacks. “That’s better.”

“You’re gonna need a weapon too, y’know,” Boone spoke up. “There’s no way you can take on those things on your own.”

“They’re hunks of metal,” Sashi muttered. “I’ll just karate chop off their … whatevers.”

“Sash, dude, when something is screaming EXTERMINATE at you, it’s better to be safe than sorry,” Boone retorted.

Sashi fell silent, and took a step back, with her hands outstretched. “Well?” she asked. “What have you got?”

There was some whirring, perhaps a bit of clanking as well, but eventually, the contraption shot out a strange looking device. A little bigger than the average pencil, and much heavier. Covered in metal and buttons that did who knows what, with a little blue light on the end, it both intrigued and disgusted Sashi. She frowned, clicked a button, and all the damn thing did was make a buzzing noise.

“What’s this supposed to do?!” she argued.

“I dunno,” Boone replied breezily. “I just thought it looked cool.”

“Can’t you give me anything else?” Sashi groaned. “A machete? An AK47? Even a toothpick would be more useful than… than this!”

Boone hesitated. “Uh, Sash, maybe you should focus less on what you have and more on the fact that Penn is going to be exterminated soon,” he muttered, as one of the doors of the time machine swung open.

For a moment, Sashi was hesitant in her steps and she gasped at the sight outside.

No euphemism could come to her mind for this scene. Plain and simple, it was war. Fire, screaming, most likely blood and bodies as well. And aliens. So many frikkin’ aliens. Sashi hated to think that she was one of them, but both hearts she possessed were pounding. She clutched her foreign weapon, and breathed deep, bolting out into the great unknown.

She heard Boone yell a good luck for her, but that wasn’t what she focused on.

She had a mission.

Save Penn.

Take down the alien robots.

Get that contraption- ...or rather, magical phone box working and get the hell out of here.

Finally, if she had time, she’d say sorry for everything.

But right now, all she did was run. She ran as fast she could, ignoring the mechanical screams of the alien robots and the lasers that they fired. Expertly dodging death was part of her training as a sidekick- and apparently, for today, as a hero. Sashi wanted to stop and help those who were hurt, maybe on the verge of death, but if she stopped, it meant the end of her as well. She didn’t take bullets for just anyone-

-yet for the screaming, flailing idiot she saw on the horizon, she definitely would.

“Penn!” His name was a desperate cry on her lips, and she kept running.

Over all of the chaos that came with battles, he saw her before he heard her. Penn kept his eyes on Sashi, who fought expertly as she caught up to him- occasionally using fists before her weapon… whatever it was.

They had no time for a reunion, not even a second to get a word in; she just took his hand and off they went.

“Get Her!” the robots squawked, as they all began to roll after the hero and sidekick.

“They’re after you?!” Penn exclaimed, over the zaps and booms and all of the other horrifying war noises.

Sashi growled, pressing another button on the bottom of her device as she pointed it at an armada of the enemy. Instantly, they all began to fizz and short out, and she skidded to a stop, with Penn comically falling against her. In awe at what her weapon could do, Sashi kept it in the direction of whatever those things were-

“You-” One of them released a static groan in the middle of their statement. “-are The Doctor!” It pointed it’s only extension, it’s only thing that could resemble a limb, at Sashi. “The enemy of the Daleks!”

Dalek. What a strange word, for a very strange species of alien. But _who was she_?

Neither of them had any idea.

With a deep breath and wide eyes, Sashi took a step back. “Penn,” she said softly. “Run.”

“Sash, I’m not-”

“ _Run!_ ” she shrieked, looking back to him with tears brimming her eyes. “Don’t make me argue with you again, _you idiot!_ ”

Penn fell silent for a moment, simply staring at her.

It seemed like everything in this world stopped. There was no screaming, just soft groans and the occasional whine. The fire had ceased, if only temporarily. With shaking hands, Sashi twirled her device and pointed it another robot- Dalek. None of this made any sense. But she was doing what she had to, and that was be a hero.

Just for now.

“I can’t leave you,” Penn muttered.

“Well, t-then, don’t!” Sashi retorted. She ran a hand through her hair, frustrated, and gestured into the distance. “Go, get into that dumb blue box and wait there! I’ll be right behind you!”

“Sashi-”

“-I’m right behind you,” she repeated, her brown eyes going black.

It could have been her mood, or the dim lighting of dusk on this planet, or the light of lasers flying by-

-Penn didn’t have time to think about it. He just obeyed her orders and went back to running for his life. Sashi gulped, and goddamn, was it possible for more of those Daleks to appear out of nowhere? She kept pointing her device at them, watching them fry up and coil away. As each one backed away, she took a step backwards towards that box.

That curious, mysterious, strangely hopeful blue box.

Finally, Sashi found herself pressed up against the doors, and she fell back inside, flat on her back.

Penn slammed the doors shut, stammering to himself.

“What’s going on?!” he said exasperatedly.  “Why wasn’t I out ther-” He stopped himself, noticing her face. “Oh. Oh, man. Did we-”

“We did,” Sashi muttered. “We were _that_ mad at each other.”

Penn outstretched a shaky hand to her, and she got to her feet. Their gazes were plastered, and Sashi found herself rather embarrassed. She fished the device out of her pocket, shoving it into Penn’s hand.

“You’re the one who should have this,” she declared.

“But you’re the one who kicked ass out there,” Penn assured. “Really, I was just running around and screaming my head off before you showed up.”

A smile played at Sashi’s lips. “You were still doing that even when I found you,” she teased.

“Should not even be here,” a very familiar voice spoke up. “Who taught you how to drive TARDIS?”

Both Penn and Sashi whipped around, rather shocked to see their MUT technician with them in this multiverse. They stood there, slack-jawed and wide-eyed for a few seconds as Phyllis toyed with some buttons, levers and other contraptions.

It was Penn who finally managed to find words, “Phyllis? What are you doing here?”

The sage old woman grinned, and tapped one of the various gadgets on her belt. “Decided to give you taste of my world,” she explained. “But there is much I have to teach.” She tapped a few last buttons, and gave a smile that said she was hiding a secret she couldn’t tell them quite yet. “This ship … it was friend of mine’s.”

The two teenagers let out soft murmurs, of concern and curiosity.

Phyllis chuckled, pointing to Sashi. “You look better as him,” she mused. “Better than Penn would.”

“Hey!” Penn said, crossing his arms over his chest. “I would rock that bowtie. Sashi ruined the look.”

Sashi slapped him on the shoulder, and playfully shook her head.

Phyllis gave a small salute. “Correct mission this time,” she said. “Good luck!”

And with that said, she zapped away with help from a strange-looking watch-like device on her wrist.

With a dash of hesitation, Sashi pushed open the door and pursed her lips at the sight of a graveyard, in what looked like Manhattan, New York late at night.

“Well, it’s better than a warzone!” Penn piped up, with a halfhearted shrug.

“Maybe,” Sashi murmured, as they stepped outside.

They now had many adventures in this twisted multiverse of robots, aliens, advanced technology and from the looks of it, time travel; the hero and sidekick could swap roles as often they’d like. But one thing was for sure, they’d have each other. Through thick and thin, no matter what.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm definitely evil for putting them in that world at the end, but oh well.
> 
> Comments are always greatly appreciated :).


End file.
